Decisions

I've come to the realization that I'm sitting here in a sea of doubt and self-pity, and i keep giving myself excuses as to why I wouldn't be good for any of the jobs I am most likely qualified for. I will most likely continue in this vein of reasoning for who knows how much longer. Is it the change I am afraid of or just failure? There is no magic crystal ball to tell me yes or no, no higher power to shine a light saying this is the decision I should make. I just have to take a leap of faith and decide. What am I deciding though? To stay the same is not the decision I can make, but what change do i need to implement? I had a plan at one point in my life. I completed that goal, and that plan. I forgot to make a new one and now I'm stuck. I've been lazy and it's easy being lazy but it's not good. My own fears are winning and I need to fight back. I need to stop letting the fear paralyze me from living.